all fall down

   Silence emerges from the sound of rain
and spreads in a crescendo of gray monotony over the narrow street I contemplate.
I’m sleeping while awake,
standing by the window, leaning against it
as against everything.
I search in myself for the sensations I feel
And I don’t know what I feel or what I want to feel.
I don’t know what to think or where I am.
For a long time now I haven't existed.
I'm utterly calm.
No one distinguishes me from who I am.
I just felt myself breath as if I'd done something new, or done it late.
I'm beginning to be conscious of being conscious.
Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up to myself and resume the course of my existence.
I don't know if that will make more happy or less.
I don't know anything.


-Pessoa