quietus

To the man I love

to the beating heart who never speaks louder than a whisper

To soul who holds my hand, quietly, at night

In the stardust particles, 

Inside black holes, 

In rays of reflected starlight,

I can feel your presence wavering farther and farther away

Hardly do I know you, but yet, I know you better than I know myself

Drifting far apart in these last days

Last days is how they feel

Lack of speech, party I feel to push me away

Shelter me

Protect me
As if how hurt will I be if you’re not there

Last days is how they feel

For my own good is this-

for lack of speech,

or the lack of knowing how

To the man I love

Whose beating heart seems to get quieter and quieter in my souls ear

In the heart who’s trying so hard to hear

It is difficult

Oh so very hard to hear nowadays
Strong and swift, or weak and slow

I’d rather be at a snails pace than no pace at all

At least the snails pace hurts

Aches
Make one know that at least you’re living. 

At least you know how to feel.
Makes one know that life is still inside you yet.

These stardust particles cloud my eyes
Tunnel vision even in the darkest of nights
These what I call black holes of the mind

Where I forget how to think
breathe,
walk,
see,
how to live.
These black holes that make me float utop the air to light and free

Only to bring me down, this time very heavily

Reflected in the starlight is a ray of hope
Or the lack there of
Sometimes I forget what hope looks like
But in this ray, or whatever it may be, I can feel you there
Being indecisive about me.

Restless
careful
wild and entrapt
closed doors
Open air
wish to fly high and free
I do not fear the hight
I do not fear to fall
If there were no place to land
I would not fear at all
So fall shall I

and hope to God I never land